If I Die Young
by BleachChancellar
Summary: "If I die young, bury me in satin. Lay me down on a bed of roses. Sink me in the river at dawn. Send me away with the words of a love song." Tragedy and humor claim this story as the life of a woman who changed the lives of all the shinigami in the Gotei 13. Keep a tissue nearby as you read how the presence of one girl will affect the world of souls forever.
1. Bury Me In Satin

**Author's Note: This is the first story I've written about a tragedy and it gets pretty bad in the sense that when i was thinking about writing, tears came to my eyes. I was thinking about how to start it but I think it turned out good. But i mean even a monkey can write a beginning, it's the ending that'll get me. Anyway, On with the story!  
**

_**Summary: A woman by the name of Akito is in a coma after suffering from a brain hemorrhage caused by an unknown illness. Before she lay in a hospital bed, she had a life in the Soul Society and befriended nearly everyone she met. The man she had grown to call her father, Shunsui Kyoraku, has called for a get together to learn of everyone's experiences with the young girl and how she impacted their lives. He himself struggles to hold back the tears as he hears about the life she lived. He will discover some things he never knew about her along with the things he believed he helped her achieve as everyone reflects on the time they spent with her.**_

**It gets soppy at some points and gets violent at others. It is a very roller-coaster like story as the flashbacks switch from person to person and I think the most notable stories will be Renji's, Ichigo's, Byakuya's and Shunsui's. It will be a long story, with many chapters to come.**

* * *

If I Die Young

Chapter 1: Bury Me In Satin

"Excuse me, Saito-san?" A lavender-haired lieutenant held a clipboard in her slim arms and got the attention of a young woman sitting at the end of a hospital bed. The raven-haired, petite girl who wore a midnight blue yukata with white vines winding around the fabric and dipping in crevices as the figure it encased sat with one leg draped over the other.

She looked up at the tall, quiet woman and away from the medical bed. Leering at the pile of paper that stuck to the clipboard tucked beneath the crossed arms of the vice-captain of the 4th. "I already told you yesterday. No." She pulled her arms across her chest and turned back to her previous focus.

"But-" The orderly tried to protest.

"Isane." Her captain stood behind her with closed eyes and slightly furrowed brows. Opening them to send a meaningful to her second in command and receiving an understanding nod, Unohana-taicho turned her gaze to the person who claimed the hospital issued mattress.

"I'm not signing those forms." Saito-san stated.

"I understand. I share your faith, Ayame. You are not the only one who wishes to see those eyes again." Unohana closed her eyes again and before she left the room, the resting girl spoke.

"She will not die today. She will open her eyes and she will snap that clipboard in half." A small smile danced across the female captain's face.

Continuing her departure, she slid the doors closed behind her and headed down the hall to tend to other patients. Ayame furrowed her brows in determination as she stood and walked over to the side of the bed. She placed her hand on the forehead of the form beneath the satin sheets, brushing the loose strands of black mane away. Placing a light kiss on her exposed skin, Ayame whispered to herself.

"Not today."

* * *

**_Captain's Meeting_**

Murmurs that filled the wood-paneled hall were hushed as the captain-commander descended through the twin lines of positioned officers to his throne. Kyoraku-sotaicho took his seat and panned around the room. Narrowing his eyes before closing them completely, his spoke through his thin mustache and beard.

"I suppose you all are wondering why I asked you here on the day most of you have off." He waited for responses, nearly surprised it was Shinji who had spoken up.

"We all figured it was because of Akito-chan and well, we really don't mind leaving our short vacations if it's for her." A smile tugged at the vizard captain's lips when he saw nods of agreement from his fellow captains.

A quiet, amused chuckle escaped the old man's lips. "I though you'd say that." He straightened, all humor fading from his face.

"You are all aware of her condition. She may not survive this one." His expression became deeply saddened as he recalled the many times she had cheated death and now that she was slowly slipping away, it seemed to him that death was cheating her. "I have something I wish to do for her." He spoke to everyone. "You all understand that we must assume that she will not wake up. And we will not weep for her, we will laugh for her." He finished in a low and soft but commanding tone. "Tonight, invite all the people you see fit: lieutenants, lower seated officers, friends from the Rukongai. Tonight, we will not grieve her death, but celebrate her life. I will host a party in her honor and we will reminisce the life she had with us. You have your orders to prepare for this, dismissed." The large captain took his leave, noting the pained masks everyone, even Kurotsuchi-taicho, wore.

Falling out, certain captains stopped with each other, passing conversations between them.

"It seems the pain of losing Akito has reached everyone." Byakuya stood next to a white-haired, short-statured captain watching his friend walk away.

Sadly smiling, Toshiro looked up at the stoic noble. "You speak as if she was already gone. Don't you dare try to pass it off like she didn't affect you as much as she did the rest of us." He softened his smile as he saw the quiet taicho go from cold and heartless to sorrowful.

"It is as if I am losing a sister. I hate the feeling. But we must keep up appearances as they are everything." The expression was gone as quickly as it shown. Stepping away, Byakuya followed suit of Shunsui.

"This is quite the unfortunate development." A robot-like commanding officer said to anyone.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you sound almost sad, Captain Kurotsuchi." A snicker caught the research and development leader. The piano-teethed officer of the 5th held his spaghetti arms across his chest.

With an angered guise, he corrected the vizard. "You misunderstand. I was simply disappointed that I did not get to examine her; to analyze the girl. Nothing more."

"Whatever you say."

By the time Mayuri started yelling at the blond man questioning his emotions, all the captains had fled the over-sized conference hall. Headed in the same direction, Shinji and Kensei began talking.

"So, are you worried? About Shunsui-san, I mean." Kensei turned to his fellow officer who held his head so low, he nearly touched the ground. "Oi, are _you_ alright?"

A scrunched character baby-stepped next to the muscular man. After a short while and sorrowful silence, the 5th Division captain finally replied.

"I know he feels like he's lost his own flesh and blood; like he's lost his own daughter." Shinji had seen the bond the two had first hand and couldn't help but truly worry for the older man. "He can';t hide the way he's feeling even if he wore a paper bag over his old mug." Hirako-taicho recalled the man who stood on the edge of Sokyoku Hill, nearly driven to tears.

"I hear ya. She was...an amazing girl." Kensei had some memories of Akito himself and they were all ripping at his heart as he let them flash through his head. Furrowing his brows, he had reached the fork that separated the paths to each of the hollowfied souls. Waving goodbye as they set out to fulfill their orders, the walked in opposite directions sharing the same agonizing mannerism.

* * *

**_Two Hours Before the Party_**

"So, its like a thing you would have after a normal funeral, right? Like a get-together that happens after you bury the dead?" A sun-kissed soul reaper questioned her raven-haired friend with caution. The word 'funeral' was a soft spot for the both of them and Ichigo was still reeling from the news of Akito's condition, hoping, _praying_ they wouldn't need one.

"Yeah, you could say that..." Rukia trailed off, comparing the two. "But, we are having it before, to celebrate." She met her lover's chocolate eyes.

"Celebrate? I don't really..." Ichigo was confused. Celebrating someone's death? His slow perception was amusing but it was quite the nuisance some times.

With a sigh, she explained. "We are reminiscing the life she had with all of us. Captain Ukitake wanted me to invite you and told me to tell you to ask anyone who you think may wish to attend. He said all guests are welcome." She heaved another sigh as she turned to look at the sunset flooding the sky.

"Rukia...I don't think I can do it..." Ichigo's eyes were hooded by his orange locks when Rukia gazed at him; her eyes wide in shock.

Her features softened when she saw a single tear fall down his cheek. Rukia knew, more than anyone, that Ichigo and Akito we incredibly close despite the short period she was around and that the pain he must be feeling and the pain he felt when he was told about her was tearing him apart from the inside out and there was nothing stopping the hot streams from gushing.

Rukia scooted closer to her fiance, wrapping an arm around his hunched shoulders and held her free hand against the arm he pressed against a shingle on the roof they took refuge on. With soft coos to him, she lay her head on her his bicep.

"I know it hurts, Ichigo. But you know you have to be there. She would want you-" She was cut off and startled by Ichigo suddenly shooting up from his position.

Balling his fists and gritting his teeth, he nearly growled at the smaller woman. "Don't talk about her like she's already gone! There's still a chance that she'll wake up!" Ichigo turned to leave, stopping only to give a soft sorry and acceptance to the invitation to the Kuchiki. He disappeared into the sunset as Rukia breathed a painful sigh, hating that she could never pull him out of it if Akito had actually died. She pulled her knees to her chest and rested her arms over them as they held her hung head and she began to cry soundlessly.

* * *

**_One Hour Before the Party_**

"There's already so many people here and we haven't even set out any food or beverages." Lieutenant Hinamori peered out through the crack in the doors at the nearly packed garden that stood at the edge of the Seireitei*.

"Baka, of course there is." Her Captain had given her a new name as if to symbolize how truly foolish the girl was to trust his former lieutenant. "She knew almost everyone in the entire Gotei 13. It'd be a surprise if there wasn't this many people." Shinji also noted the exceptionally large crowd that was still growing outside the room that opened up to the garden.

"Oi!" A call came from the hallway leading to the waiting room from a familiar voice.

"Zaraki-taicho...glad to see you here." The piano teethed vizard stepped out-of-the-way as a cotton-candy haired vice-captain jumped from the towering man's shoulder.

"I have my reasons." His strong voice uncharacteristically quiet.

The pale-faced, rosy-cheeked second in command was also quiet as she walked past the two captains and into the garden. Shinji eyed her closely and turned back to Kenpachi, expectantly.

"Those two were pretty close, ne?" A nod.

"She isn't taking it very well, then?" Another nod.

Shinji heaved a sigh and repositioned himself in his seat. He felt a familiar reiatsu as a glint of orange caught his attention.

"Ichigo..." Momo and Kenpachi both turned to see the substitute's eyes hooded by his hair as he walked passed the blond, ignoring him.

Rukia trailed not far behind the depressed berry, apologizing for Ichigo's rudeness.

Waving it off he looked out at the man. "It's understandable. He's going through a lot. We all are." Shinji watched as Ichigo was pulled over by a group of shinigami, trying his hardest to place a smile on his distressed features. "He's struggling and everyone knows exactly how he's feeling because we are all in the same situation. He's not the only one loosing Akito-chan." Shinji lowered his eyes. "Well, it looks like it's time to go." He pointed towards the buffet tables rolling out and the head captain who had entered the garden from a different route.

All the people in the room accompanied him out into the open space and made their way through the heavy-ing crowd to where all the captains had taken refuge. Standing tall and forcing smiles upon their faces, all the captains welcomed the guests. Ushering them all on to cushions previously set out for them, Shunsui panned over the field of soul reapers, commoners and nobles who had showed up. He was surprised to see the high-ranking souls that were able to attend despite this being a last-minute thing.

There was so many people here, though. All the lieutenants, including Omaeda who had such a grudge against the honor of this party, were there. Most third, fourth, and fifth seats were in attendance among some that were of lesser rank. Members of the Shiba and Kuchiki clan were there, too. It didn't surprise him at all that they wanted to be there; Akito had grown on all the people she came in contact with even if they had started off on the wrong feet. His eyes shifted towards Ichigo, who sat between Rukia and Renji in a pretzel and holding his head low.

The loud murmur that claimed the open space started to die down and Shunsui took the chance to speak.

"I'm happy that you all could come." His words were low and quiet but they hushed the crowd as all eyes turned to the head captain. Shunsui had taken a seat next to his lover, Ukitake, who was with him in his quarters hours before, crying like he never cried before. He took a sip of the tea provided to him before continuing. "It would seem our Akito..." Shunsui nearly cracked when he spoke her name, gaining supportive looks when Jyuushiro placed a hand on his shoulder. "It would seem, our Akito had more friends than I had originally thought. She would be modest about it, but would be exponentially happy at seeing all of you." A small smile danced across his obviously pained face. "She would take her time to sit down with each of you, speaking her mind and listening to yours. I know the thought of loosing her is not one any of us wish to have, but..." He struggled to continue. "I will do what she would do in a time like this. I want to hear all of it. I want to know what it was like for all of you when she held out her hand to you, helping you stand. Tell me why you love the little girl that's clinging to life in hopes to see all of you again." A tear threatened to pour from the corner of his eye. He held a hand to his mouth, holding back a whimper as his friend gripped his pink yukata tighter.

"Right then," Jyuushiro took over. "Let's begin."

* * *

**In the next few chapters, it will be flashbacks about the life the people at the party had spent with Akito and how she affected them. **

**REVIEW, FOLLOW, FAVORITE!**


	2. Lay Me Down On A Bed Of Roses

**Author's Note: This is where all the flashbacks come into play, i don't know who to start with but i guess it'll get good when it does but there are people who aren't a part of the original Bleach cast and as such i do not own any original bleach characters but I do own Ayame Saito, Akito, Akihito Saito, Kairi Kobayashi, and Ai Natsumi. These are all people from the group that came with Akito and only one is described in this chapter.  
**

**Right! On with the story! OH! There is major OOC for Ikkaku and Yumichika too. It accommodates the story but they aren't much themselves.  
**

* * *

**If I Die Young**

**Chapter 2: Lay Me Down On A Bed Of Roses**

A small murmur claimed the crowds after the words left Ukitake's mouth. Everyone shifted eyes between one another before looking at Ichigo. He peeked through his orange locks at the entire space of eyes staring at him and straightened up.

"I think Ichigo should go first." A unnamed soul reaper said from deep in the audience.

"Yeah, it should be Ichigo."

"That makes sense, doesn't it? They were the closest."

"No." Ichigo scowled at the members that nominated him. "Not me." He shot glares at them, earning whimpers and gasps as they looked anywhere but his face.

"I'll go first." A hand raised from behind the captain of the 11th.

"Ikkaku?" Yumichika turned to his friend flabbergasted. The man sitting next to him who was such a hard, bloodthirsty, power-hungry shinigami had just volunteered to pour out his feelings about Akito, someone he was originally petrified of.

"What? I can't talk about Akito-san now?" Ikkaku looked over at his raven-haired friend before continuing. "She was...I guess you could say she was a bit of a hard ass when we first met." Light laughter erupted from the crowd at those words. They knew all too well that she was rather...unpleasant when she first arrived.

"She practically crushed me when I asked for a spar. I wasn't gonna let her try to fight with that Greenhorn over there without knowing for sure she wouldn't get him killed." Ikkaku closed his eyes and recalled the words she spoke to him as she wrapped her thin fingers around his throat and lifted him off the ground. "I distinctly remember her telling me that someone like me shouldn't even train with Kurosaki seeing as a_ girl_ from the _safest district in Rukongai_ just beat my ass." A soft chuckle left his lips. "I got pissed when she said that to me. I mean, _really_ pissed. When she walked away from me, I lunged at her. It was pretty damn low of me but when she looked at me, it wasn't disappointment or disdain for what I had done. No, she told me that instead of throwing lame ass attacks, use that anger because I was at rock bottom now and that anger with help me back up from the pit I'd fallen into."

* * *

**_9 Months Ago  
_**

"Your anger is good, just shows how determined you are to beat the shit out of me for nearly ending you a minute ago. Meet me at the training grounds tomorrow, bring your friend too." Akito pointed to Yumichika who was watching the battle from the side lines. He flinched when she looked at him and turned away, scowling.

With a smirk, the jet black-haired woman left, leaving a stunned soul reaper behind with his fellow officer.

"That wasn't beautiful at all." Yumichika said plainly, helping the third seat up.

* * *

"When she said that to me...when she knocked me on my ass, it scared the shit outta me. That woman was absolutely terrifying." He stated laughing out loud, birthing an audience full of giggles. "But she changed, a lot." He got serious again before finishing. "She wasn't the same person in the dojo that could've killed me when we fought. The look in her eyes wasn't of someone who wanted to show you up. She had a sort of fire burning in them. It was weird."

"Yeah I remember that." Yumichika confirmed. "She looked at the both us and she smiled. I thought she was going crazy." He flipped his braid behind his shoulder and sighed, also recollecting the time he spent with Akito.

* * *

**_9 Months Ago (contd.)_**

The next day, Akito was waiting in the kendo dojo for the two men she had spoken to the day before. She sat on her calves that lay beneath her with her hands placed on the top of her thighs and her eyes closed. She wore a black tank top hugging her torso and a studded belt that held up her near-skin tight black jeans. Her legs were covered up from the knees down with knee-high, black leather boots with buckles at the top and sizers at the bottom.

She wore her jet black hair up in a ponytail, leaving out her short hairs that cascaded over her forehead and shaded her piercing chocolate eyes with yellow staining around the edges*. There were scars from her left jaw line to right below her eye and one on her right temple that was only about 2 inches long. She had pierced ears with one side having two studs next to each other at the bottom and two small loops in her cartilage. On the other side she had a golden ear cuff with chains that connected from the top of her cartilage to the loop piercing and hung down with two white pearls on the edge.A gold wire twisted and turned into a random design with two tiny jewels at the end*.

The young woman was physically about 23, but she had lived a much longer life in the Soul Society.

With a knock at the door frame, she turned her attention to the open entrance across the room. A wide, warm smile danced on her features when she saw a shaved soul reaper with his feathered friend stand before her. Akito stood and walked over to them, holding her grin in place as she stopped in front of them, noting how confused and slightly startled they were by her sudden warmth.

Straightening up and placing his hands on his hips before walking through the entryway, Ikkaku scoffed at the petite woman. "Why are we here?"

"I thought I told you? You're at rock bottom here. I only want to help you. This place holds great memories for you, does it not?" Her smile faded slightly as she saw the taller man eye the equipment that hang and lay about the room he had just entered.

Before coming to a complete stop at the stand that held two katanas on separate racks, Ikkaku turned to the woman who invited him to the dojo.

"I don't need help. I don't have any problems so there's no need." Frowning at the man's words, Akito approached the stationed 3rd seat.

"You may say that but clearly," she placed her hand over his chest and closed her eyes, earning a curious look from Ikkaku's companion. "You have more of a troubled soul than you think." She looked back up at the man who was now inspecting the hand on him.

Yumichika was standing behind Akito now, watching the two interact. He was curious about the new chain of events unraveling before him.

"What do you mean?" Ikkaku looked back at Akito.

"You're not just angry at me." She furrowed her brows in sadness when she progressed. "You haven't been happy, truly happy since..."

Uncharacteristically, the assistant adjutant softened his gaze and raised his hand to hers, pressing it gently.

"Please...don't."

"Ikkaku..." Yumichika had never seen his friend like this before...pleading for something. It was a sight behold only it wasn't a good thing to see. His friend was in pain. The words Akito dealt to him moved something in the older man.

"I want to help you." Akito lowered her hand with it still held by the Squad 11 member. "I know you don't want it, but...you deserve it."

"Ikkaku, what is she talking about?" Yumichika furrowed his feathered brows at the image before him.

"You can't help me. No one can." He let her hand go and headed out the door. "Let's go Yumichika." He demanded.

Before following closely behind Madarame, he looked to the woman who caused so much trouble. He swallowed hard and caught up to Ikkaku, leaving her alone in the dojo with her head hanging low in defeat.

* * *

"I tried to make her leave me be but, she was persistent." Ikkaku pulled his hands in front of his mouth into a fist. He thought of the many times Akito insisted on helping him like at a gathering of him, Yumichika, Rangiku, Shuuhei, Izuru, Renji and Iba. She pulled him away from the drunken crowd and tried her hardest to get him to comply but no avail as with every time after that. She even went as far as waiting for him in his barracks after a scrimmage with some of his subordinates. She kept up this charade until he finally said he'd try it.

Akito lit up when he accepted and although it seemed to scare the living daylights out of the people around her, she beamed with happiness. Ikkaku was a little confused at everyone's reaction until he had learned Akito had made a reputation for herself as a don't-fuck-with-me-or-else type of person. Everyone apparently thought she was this bad-ass that never smiled or laughed or even had a glint of positive feeling in her eye. When she was sent out on assignments to dispatch of hollows or any rogue group trying to rise up, she only took the four people she arrived with and she would usually return covered in blood. They all assumed she never tried to reason with the rebellions and that she had no heart and was as cold as the captain of the sixth if not more so.

"Akito-san told me that...the people she came here with were going to be with us when she was helping me. I hated the thought of all of them knowing what was happening but she kept telling me they hadn't the slightest idea what was going on and were only there for the ride." He lowered his hands into his lap and heaved a heavy sigh. "The way she went about these things was rather annoying to say the least. She was always telling me that I had to turn my anger into determination and it irritated the shit outta me when I saw her have so much hope. I didn't understand her faith in me," He scratched the back of his head. "But it was refreshing to know she wouldn't give up until she got what she wanted." A small smile painted his sharp features.

* * *

"Alright!" Akito put her hands on her hips and took a proud stance as she stood in front of Ikkaku who was now sitting crossed-legged against the wall with a frustrated look on his face. There were too many people here, he did not enjoy their company at all.

"Oi, can't we go somewhere else?" Ikkaku shifted between the two men who sat on the opposite side of the room next to the two women that sat across from them.

"Nope!" Akito pulled him to his feet and gave him a small smile while she placed her palm on his barely exposed chest. She closed her eyes and bowed her head lightly with the taller man watching as she did so.

His eyes widened as a white light emitted from her hand and engulfed his chest. The light grew around them until they were completely absorbed and everything around them had disappeared into the pure white illumination. After he panned around the area he turned back to the woman in front of him who clenched her eyes shut.

"Oi...are you alright?" Ikkaku raised a hand to Akito's shoulder. She opened her eyes and, much to Ikkaku's surprise, they were glowing with a golden tint. "Akito-san?"

She raised her head and appeared to be looking at him. She turned to her left and raised a hand. Out of this hand, a long, black stream flowed out and pooled vertically until it formed a large, jagged circle.

"The hell...?" The middle of the circle faded to a dim white before revealing a dark figure. This figure, wielding a long sword with black locks dangling down its back, towered over a much smaller Ikkaku. The shorter man realized that this was a memory of the time he had fought Kenpachi. He recalled when the two fought, the words that his captain had spoken to him and that the older man was the reason he became a soul reaper. The image faded into another memory.

A glint of orange peeked out of the circle and the silent shouts of Zangestu and Ikkaku calling out his shikai. He lost that fight with the Greenhorn and it agitated him when the boy hadn't killed him. It was even worse when the substitute decided to save him instead of leaving him for dead and that he used up all of his secret ointment in the hilt of his Zanpakutou.

This pool of memories was showing every time the 3rd seat had lost or was tied in a battle. Of course, to the assistant adjutant, tying with someone in a battle was the same as losing. It highlighted all the rematches he had with his captain and all those times, no matter how strong the man had gotten, he was always defeated.

Another circle appeared on the right of the two. Ikkaku peered into the space to see a battle he had fought with Iba. He recollected that this fight was only a spar but he had won every time they raised their blades. He witnessed the onslaught of combat he engaged in when he was in the Rukongai. These were all conflicts he had risen out from as the victor. Both dark areas had begun to fade and Ikkaku turned back to Akito.

The golden shimmer in her eyes had also dissipated as she returned his gaze. "Did you see? Your happiness is rooted to the amount of battles you fight and only when you come out as the victor are you truly disappointed. You seem to hate it when you win your fights. It only proves that there is no room for improvement and that you have peeked in strength. But when you fought Captain Zaraki, you felt so invigorated by his words. When you battled Kurosaki-san, you expected him to kill you but you were...happy that he didn't. The battles that you lose prove that you are not the strongest, that you have something to strive towards. You don't ever want to win. You hate that feeling. Happiness is defeat...for you."

Ikkaku's face softened dramatically at her words. No one, not even Yumichika, a person who had been with him since the beginning, could ever understand what he felt when he lost his feuds. The fact that someone, somewhere finally knew exactly what he was going through was the best feeling in the world. He was so grateful to the woman who opened him up. He grabbed her hand, pushed it away from his chest and pulled her close to him. She near jolted out of her skin when she felt his arms around her. Ikkaku was...hugging her.

The light that surrounded the two of them faded as Ikkaku released the younger person. The group watching them held wide smiles because they all knew what their leader had done. She saved another person. Kairi, a man with spiky black hair that rested his head on a protruding knee, eyed the 3rd seat with slight disdain. He was surprised the man hadn't broke out in tears like so many before him. With a sigh, he shared the expression of his comrades and couldn't help but remember when he was saved.

* * *

"After that...she was so much like a little sister to me. I wanted to protect her and make sure she was safe. I hadn't met anyone like her before. The way she talked to me...the way she held her hand out to me..." Ikkaku had pressed his palm against his lips with his elbow propped up on his knee. He felt like he was loosing his own sister when he heard about Akito and it was ripping him apart. He never showed this to anyone on the outside but it was killing him to not know if his friend was going to survive this.

"She did all that for you?" Shunsui broke the silence as he looked over at the sentimental man. A nod. Shunsui chuckled before he finished. "She had already done so much and she hadn't even been here for a month. She moves quick." He let a pained smile stretch across his face. "What else?"

* * *

**Well...this was a lot different from what I pictured it to be. It turned out better than what was in my head. Only one of my characters was told about in this one but it gets more open about them in later chapters. In the chapter after the next, there will be a description of smut between Akito and her love interest. But all will be revealed when it is revealed. Read the next chapter to get a hint as to who the guy is Akito was involved with ;)**


	3. Sink Me In The River At Dawn

**Author's Note: This is the beginning of Akito's love story as her love interest is hinted and an oc is introduced in this chapter. Enjoy!  
**

* * *

**If I Die Young**

**Chapter 3: Sink Me In The River At Dawn  
**

Another roar of murmurs erupted in the crowd when another candidate spoke up.

"Akito-sama..." Everyone turned in the direction of the voice to find Kairi Kobayashi, one of the four members of the team Akito arrived with.

"Kobayashi-san?" Jyuushiro straightened up to listen to the young man.

Kairi Kobayashi was the first person to join Akito after she left the Seireitei. When she found him, he was rummaging through garbage searching for scraps. He hadn't eaten for nearly 4 days and needed something, anything. He was almost completely inside a dumpster when she walked up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. He flew nearly ten feet in the air when he felt it and he wanted to run from her but something told him she wasn't going to hurt him. He saw that trademark smile filled with so much warmth and comfort he had no reason to fear the older woman.

She handed him a roll of bread, which he graciously excepted, and wrapped a cloth around him to warm him up. Kairi had been out in the cold for those four days and gobbled down the loft with a bright red nose and puffy cheeks. That was the first time he heard Akito laugh and even though he was physically only about 16, he practically fell in love with that face. Since then, he's done everything he could to see that smile, to make her laugh again. Of course, he understood, she had no romantic feelings for the boy but that certainly didn't stop him from trying!

With a light chuckle at the memory, he continued. "Akito-sama took me in when I was about 16, and, Kami, that was the best day of my life. She was the only person who didn't beat me to a pulp when she found me 'cause I looked strange."

Kairi had shoulder length purple hair tied back in a band at the nape of his neck, forcing the smaller hairs out of the bunch. He had two scars over his left eye from a brutal ambush by a gang of thugs in the Rukongai and one scar on the right side of his jawline next to his chin. He had a staff as a weapon and only held it when he left with Akito to take care of business. He wore a white wife-beater and baggy, black cargo pants and a black tie on his right biceps. He had an Onmitsukido tattoo on his left shoulder with the word punishment in Kanji in the center of it.

"She actually wanted to help me. It was really nerve-racking trying to find out why she wanted me to stay with her. But, to this day I haven't the slightest idea. I can remember the first time I hit on her..." He broke out in laughter at the thought.

* * *

_**Two Years Ago  
**_

"Whaddaya say?" An eager, wide and sparkly eyed man, physically 19, held his arms to his chest in anticipation.

"Could you repeat the question?" A younger looking Akito raised her thumb and forefinger to the bridge of her nose in frustration at her friends words.

"Will you have my children?" He repeated his question, keeping his expression.

"What the hell kinda question is that?" She lowered her hand and stare at the younger man expectantly.

"What do you mean?" His enthusiasm faded.

"I am not having your kids." She laughed at the idea.

"But-"

"No buts. You're like a little brother to me and there is not a snowball's chance in hell that I'll have your kids." She shook her head to rid her mind of the image of a bunch of little Kairis running around groping women and asking them to bare their children. She shuddered.

"But-" He tried to protest.

"I said no buts. You'll find someone who wants to have your kids but it is certainly not me." She walked away from the pouting man.

* * *

Everyone laughed when he spoke of this. They were all aware of the advances Kairi had administered at any chance he got. "I can remember the time when we were at one of these parties and I practically tackled her."

* * *

_**7 Months** **Ago**_

The loud clamor of saké bottles and saucers filled with Dango flooded the open space. Akito sat between Shuuhei and Rangiku as they poured themselves another shot of the hot liquid and persistently pushed away all the ochoko* held up to her.

"I don't drink. Thank you, though." She bowed her head lightly at the offer. Although she didn't partake in the ritualistic drinking, it didn't stop her from enjoying time spent with friends.

"Why do you*hic* come to these*hic* things if you're not gonna d-*hic*-rink anything?" Renji slurred out.

"I get to spend time with you guys." She gave a warm smile to the drunk red-head earning an even darker blush on his cheeks than what he already had.

"R-right..." He sunk back down into a seated position and took another swig of the rice wine.

"Why don't you drink, anyways?" Rangiku was surprisingly aware of the things around despite the fact that she was probably the most wasted person there.

"Alcohol gives me nightmares." She said plainly.

"Rea-*hic*-lly?" Shuuhei managed.

"Yeah, found that out the hard way." She sipped the tea a waitress provided, saying 'You need to drink something.'

"What *hic* happened?" Renji sat back up and listened intently.

"Well," Akito recalled. "Shunsui-san let me try some when I was younger. I thought it was disgusting but I liked the way it felt going down my throat."

"But it *hic* burns going *hic* down?" Rangiku's drunkenness began to materialize.

"Yup. And it felt good, so I kept drinking it. I almost downed an entire bottle before he stopped me. He said 'You're gonna make yourself sick. Jyuushiro'll kill me if he finds out I even let you have some.' I was really lightweight too so I was practically drooling from just a few drinks." She laughed when she remembered the sight of herself. "Later that night, when I finally went to bed, I couldn't sleep at all. When I did, I had night terrors like there was no tomorrow. for the next three days, I had to be watched and woke up every few hours 'cause I was screaming and thrashing around like a lunatic." She took another sip of her tea and laughed at everyone's faces.

"Are you serious?!" Renji couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Hai? Is it that hard to believe?" She raised a brow at the lot of them.

"I guess not..." Shuuhei continued chugging his liquor.

Out of nowhere, Akito yelped, startling everyone until they noticed a large man draping himself over her. "What the hell?!" She tried to elbow the man off of her, to no avail, of course.

"My Akito-sama!" She found a very drunk, very horny Kairi giggling as he tried to smooch her.

"What the hell are you doing?!"

"Have my babies, Akito-sama! Marry me!" Kairi was suddenly ripped from Akito's shoulders.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" A deep growl came from the man's captor.

"I-ikkaku-san..." Kairi suddenly shriveled in fear as he glared daggers at him.

* * *

Another roar of laughter erupted from the audience. Jyuushiro and Shunsui couldn't help but join in.

"I also remember..." Kairi got serious. "When Ai died..." The merriment automatically muted. "Akito-sama, she...she was right there when she died..."

* * *

_**4 Months Ago**_

The screams and barking of orders were all silent in Akito's ears as she darted passed all the 4th Division members. She only heard the muffled audio of stomps and marches when the world moved in slow motion around her. She couldn't get passed them fast enough, bumping and tripping over them. She knew something happened when she couldn't feel her friend's reiatsu after the enemy left. She knew there was something wrong.

Akito ran up and down the dirt paths of the sections of houses just outside Seireitei walls, searched the halls of the 4th Division and finally ran up the incline of Sokyoku Hill. She spotted a slumped over figure on the edge of the cliff and froze.

_'No...no, no, no...'_ She darted to the sight before her.

She reached the limp body and knelt to it. She hesitantly turned the tiny form over to find that it was indeed her comrade, Ai Natsumi. She caught her breath at the sight of her bloody temples.

"Oh God..." She tried to wipe away the crimson fluid with her fingers only to find deep gashes behind them, leaking blood at an unimaginable rate.

"Injuries near the eyes always bleed profusely." She remembered Captain Unohana telling her a while back. Akito held her hands over these cuts and smiled down at Ai when her eyes finally opened. Bright green orbs gazed up at their leader and she forced a smile through the pain she felt.

"Hi..."

"Hi." Akito choked back the concern in her words.

"Don't you dare bury me in a pet cemetery or I swear to the Gods I will haunt your sorry ass..." Ai swallowed the blood pooling in her mouth.

Akito couldn't help but giggle at her friend. When they took a trip to the World of The Living, she made a mental note to stay the hell away from pet cemeteries after she saw that Stephen King movie.

"I promise..." She let out another pained laughed. She looked down at the dying woman who lay there, covered in her own blood. She had seen this sight once before and she knew exactly what was going to happen. She swallowed hard and gave a weak smile to the friend she'd had for only a year and grabbed her hand that was by now also covered in blood.

"Tell Kairi he can kiss my ass for not proposing to me before this happened..." Ai let out a choked laugh.

"I'll be sure to do that." Akito managed.

Tears poured from Ai's eyes when she saw the look in her superior's face. It brought her back to reality after the height of her attack made the world around her faded into oblivion. The feeling of the gaping wounds was finally started to hit her and it felt like she went a couple of rounds with a bag of bricks.

"Tell him..." She really started sobbing. "Tell him...I love him, okay? Make sure he knows that. Make sure he knows..." She was practically shouting at Akito now. She never wanted let the lecture know how she felt about him but there was always a lingering atmosphere between the two that pretty much gave it away.

"Tell him...please...you have to tell him." A light glow encased the peach-haired woman.

"I will, I will. I promise, I'll tell him." She gripped her hand tighter as if subconsciously trying to keep her around longer.

"He's such an asshole..." She tried to laugh through her tears but failed miserably.

Akito closed her eyes as Ai began to fade away.

_'Sleep well...' _Akito felt her hand dissipate and the reishi slip through her fingers.

The sound of quickened footsteps erupted behind her before coming to an abrupt stop. Shouting and screaming were but whispers in Akito's ears as the light that once surrounded her friend faded into the air.

* * *

"She was a bit catatonic when we finally caught up to her. In fact, that was when she got to know Lieutenant Abarai, né?" He looked over to Renji who listened intently, remembering himself when the two had actually had a decent conversation. "Yeah, she, uh, she was holding up a front at first and she even helped me when I tried to pretend I didn't care that Ai was killed." He scratched the side of his face like it was helping him recollect the events. "After she spent the night calming me down she was in her room for the longest time."

"Yeah..." Renji confirmed. When he spoke, everyone looked in his direction. "I knew that she was trying to play it off like she wasn't just as torn up about it as everyone else was. I went through basically the same thing when I was in Inuzuri* so I knew what she was doing." A flash of Akito staring at him like he was crazy when she saw him standing in her doorway. "She stared at me like I was insane." He chuckled. "I can remember that she kept looking at me out of the corner of her eye like she was waiting for me to do something."

* * *

**_Annndddd Scene! It gets soppy and lovey-dovey in the next chapter but I think I did a good job with this chapter. The part where her friend died, Ai Natsumi, was a little hard to type because I couldn't really type what I was imagining but I think it turned out good. So the next chapter will make up for the sad parts in this one. REVIEW!_**


	4. Send Me Away

**Author's Note: I'm starting this off during a flashback of when Renji first talked to Akito. It's set of as right after he was talking about the way she looked at him when he was in her doorway. There will be described smut in the next chapter because there's a lot to type here but it is why I changed the rating to M, it gets pretty graphic. Because I want to keep the love story all together, this'll be a long chapter as will the next and You'll hear me refer to Inuzuri as Hanging Dog a lot because I don't like repetitive words. At the end of the next chapter, however is when another sad part comes up.  
**

* * *

**If I Die Young**

**Chapter 4: Send Me Away  
**

The red-headed lieutenant that leaned against the door frame with his arms crossed and face scowled earned a puzzled look from the black-haired woman.

"Something you need?" She stood there in front of him, staring expectantly for a moment before returning to her previous occupation.

"I want to talk." He said plainly, his expression softening lightly.

"About what?" She breathed. Akito had begun to pack away things her friend, Ai, had left in her room including clothes, trinkets, and little things like hair ties and bracelets. She was putting them all away in a small bag, separating the frail objects from the fabrics and hair accessories.

"About Ai."

Akito froze and straightened up from her hunched position before turning to look at the tattooed vice-captain. "What is there to talk about?"

"She died. And I know she meant a lot to you but you have yet to do or say anything about it." Renji stood straight and approached Akito.

"I don't need to. I have already said my goodbyes to her and I even helped Kairi when he was refusing to let whatever he was bottling up out." Renji stopped only a few feet in front of Akito who had resumed packing Ai's things.

"And now, you're bottling it up." He tied his arms around his bulky chest again.

Akito scoffed as she folded a kimono and pressed it against the mound of fabric in the bag. "I have nothing to bottle up. I have grieved and I have said goodbye. There is nothing left to say or do."

"You're wrong." Renji was now only a foot away from Akito who flinched at the unexpected closeness. "You know damn well you can't do this to yourself."

"I'm not doing anything to myself." Akito had tried to continue packing only to be stopped by a forceful hand wrapping itself around her forearm.

"That's exactly my point. You say that you've already grieved and that you don't need to do anything to show it. There is no way in hell that you can believe that!"

"What the hell're you talking about?! I told you I was fine!" She barked.

"You know that's not true!" She recoiled at his volume. He pulled her arm making her nearly stumble as she shuffled closer. "You're lying to yourself and to everyone!" He was nearly yelling at the smaller woman.

Akito furrowed her brows, trying to think of something to say. She lowered her eyes before trying to pull her way free from his grip. "I don't have time for this!" She yanked her arm as hard as she could but to no avail. He tightened his grip and pulled her into him.

Renji wrapped his arms around Akito, ignoring her attempts to push him away. She was hitting him with the side of her fist and started yelling for him to let her go.

"Get off me! I have to go! I have to get all her stuff ready! I have to...!" She stopped wailing at the larger man when she spoke the last part. Her voice calmed and got lower and lower until her words were barely audible.

"I have to go..." Renji placed an arm at the top of her back and put the other at the small of it before loosening his grip. He leaned her back to get a look at her face after she got quiet.

Akito held her head low, her disheveled bangs hooding her eyes. He peered through the uneven hair to see her glossy orbs threatening to overflow. He pulled her back into him as a quiet whimper escaped her lips. He felt her thin limbs snake around his back and the wetness of his shihakusho where she rested her head.

He was surprised she had actually started to cry. He honestly thought she would start beating him down or screaming at him or anything besides crying. He'd never seen her show much of any emotion except when she was with the friends like Ikkaku or the group of people she came to the Seireitei with.

* * *

"When I felt something wet on my shoulder, I knew she had started to cry. I'd never seen her show that much emotion in one bout. It was a sight to behold." Renji smiled at the thought of Akito trusting him enough to come so completely undone in front of him.

"I do believe the last time she cried was..." Shunsui scratched his chin and thought hard. He remembered the time she and Byakuya had raced down Sokyoku Hill and she tripped over a rock at the end. "She had tripped over a rock when she was playing with Byakuya. Mhmm, she was winning and all of a sudden, she fell down. When Byakuya ran past her and jumped across the finish line, she started sobbing like a baby." He joined Ukitake in a light chuckle. "Her face got all puffy and her nose was red. She wouldn't talk to poor Byakuya for days."

Everyone laughed and traded looks with Captain Kuchiki who quietly sipped his tea, seemingly unaffected by his friend's words.

"Really? How long ago was that?" Renji chimed in.

"It was when she was younger, about 12-13 I would guess." He recalled. "Anyway, back to what you were saying."

"Right."

* * *

Later that night, Renji and Akito had been alone in her room where he held her close to him. He had sat down, with her still in his arms, up against the wall opposite of the door. He rested on the cool wood and placed Akito between his legs with her back against his chest and his arms wrapped around her waist.

He had whispered coos to her and tightened his grip reassuringly when she started talking to him. They held decent conversation even if they were only 1-2 words replies and they only lasted for a few minutes at the most. There was even a time when he had gotten her to laugh.

Akito was drifting to sleep when she placed her hands on top of his. Renji flinched slightly at the contact and looked down at the petite woman.

"Why did you do this for me...?" A faint whisper poured from her lips. Her voice was barely audible although it reached Renji's ears.

"What do you mean?" His voice was just as low.

"This. Staying with me, letting me cry...holding me..." Her words were languid and weak.

"Well, I kinda made you cry, though. I mean, if I hadn't come in here, you would've kept up that front of yours and we wouldn't be in this situation." Renji shifted behind Akito.

"You sound like you're sorry about it." She turned back to look at his tanned features. A small smile crept on her face and her voice got stronger. "Don't be. Don't ever be sorry. I needed this. Thank you...for everything." She whispered the last part.

Renji shared her visage as she leaned back against him.

The next day, the two were still in her room but had long since removed themselves from the floor. Renji took refuge on the couch that sat catty-corner on the right side of the room for the night. He had noted that this room was quite larger than his own seeing as she could fit a couch, a desk, a twin-sized futon and a small sitting corner all in one area. He had fallen asleep late at night when Akito had told him to move off the floor, saying 'I don't want to blamed if you wake up with a crick in your neck!'

He had seen her putting more things into the bag that now lay on her futon out of the corner of his eye earlier. It was still pretty early in the morning when she was up and her shuffling around the room had woken him up. She walked over to the groggy soul reaper and sat next to him on the little area he hadn't claimed as a bed for the night.

"Did I wake you?" She smiled at him as he rest his head on the arm and draped his own over his midsection

"Don't worry about it." He grumbled.

Renji pushed himself into a sitting position giving Akito more room to move around. "Today's Saturday right?" He lazily managed wiping the sleep from his eyes.

"Yeah, why?" Akito scooted farther onto the silky cushions.

"I'm off today," he yawned liked a lion. "I don't have anything I have to do today either, so..." Renji pushed his legs off the sofa and leaned back on the warm headrest conveniently placed behind him.

"So...? What?" She eyed him curiously.

"You would do good with some fresh air. " He smiled over at Akito who held her visage. "How about we go out?"

"Umm..." Her face twisted into uncertainty with which Renji calmed.

"We can go somewhere no one will recognize us. Well, you, I mean. I know a few places in Hanging Dog that we can go to that's just as good as any restaurant in the Seireitei." His suggestion was sounding pretty good. She was really hungry and anything she had in her little apartment wasn't all that appetizing at the moment.

"Alright. Gimme a sec, okay?" She agreed and headed to the bathroom to get at least a little presentable seeing as her hair was all disheveled and her clothes were wrinkled.

"No problem." Renji waved nonchalantly.

Renji himself shook the wrinkles from his kosode and redid his ponytail after some stray hairs traveled out of their band when he moved around when he slept. He stood, brushed the crinkles out of his hakama and stretched with a loud groan. A giggle from behind him caught his attention.

"You could pass for a lion if you stood on all fours." Akito, who had decided to change into a black yukata with gold trimming and a golden peacock that started at the top of the back of the yukata and its tail feathers reaching the edge of it, held her eyes closed but carried s grin from ear to ear when the words escaped her mouth.

"Whoa..." Renji up-and-downed the woman who stood in front of him. "You look...amazing." He managed as his eyes stopped when they reached her practically glowing face.

"Thank you," she mimicked his eyes. "I'd say the same to you, but I haven't really seen you in anything besides that uniform." She motioned for Renji to follow her as she walked out the door. locking it behind her.

"Well, I was on duty yesterday. I've been here with you since then so I haven't had time to change." This sparked a conversation between the two.

"You mean you have other things to wear? I wouldn't have guessed."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He barked with annoyance laced in his voice.

"I meant no offense I just mean, I don't like to speculate on someone's life from what they look like. I only know a few things about you from what I've read in Byakuya's reports on his seated officers. He has detailed reports on all the members of his squad and I was just browsing one day. I read about how you grew up in Inuzuri and you were like all the other poor kids that ran the streets until your friends passed." Akito observed her companion's expression noting it was as if he was intrigued about hearing of his own life in someone else's words. She smiled and followed him outside the gates while she continued. "I assumed you wouldn't have much money from then and even as a Lieutenant, your pay may not be adequate enough to afford more than necessities. Am I wrong?"

Renji straightened up and pondered over his paycheck. "Actually, I think the pay is pretty good. I mean yeah, it's just enough for me to pay on rent like you said, but I do a lot of extra work around the Seireitei and I occasionally help Hisagi-senpai with the Seireitei Magazine. He pays me for that and I save up all the money I can to buy the things I want. But I seem to always have money left over even after I pay everything so I indulge myself from time to time." Renji guided her down dark streets dimly lit by strategically placed lanterns as they made their way to Inuzuri.

He had realized they were killing quite a bit of time as it would usually take 15-20 minutes to get there and it had seemed like it had only been about 5. Renji saw the landmark that let him know the streets of Hanging Dog were only a couple blocks away.

"By the way," Akito caught his attention again.

"Hmm?" He was subconsciously recalling each street to turn on as his partner for the night spoke.

"I was wondering...how did you know I needed this?" Akito looked up at the larger man expectantly.

"This? Oh, you mean what happened yesterday?" A nod. "Well, when my friends died while here in Inuzuri, I tried my best to not show what I was feeling and I bottled up so much. There was a friend I was with when I was a kid, Rukia, do you know her?" He got a positive nod. "Well, after our friends were killed and we decided to become soul reapers so we wouldn't have the same fate, there was a night when she kept asking me if I was okay. I got so irritated when she wouldn't stop. Here we are," He greeted the man at the door who graciously nodded and opened the door for them.

Renji brought her to a couples' table and chivalrously pulled the hand woven chair out for her. The atmosphere was quite homey. The room was dimly, but exceptionally lit with small golden lanterns giving a soft glow to the area. There were many others at the restaurant, most were couples but there a few families here and there. The decorations were slim, warm colored drapes and curtains complimented by the wool rugs right as you walked in the place and underneath each carefully crafted table.

"A server will be with you in a moment." A small woman bowed to them.

"Take your time." Renji smiled.

"You seem to know this place well." Akito commented, noting the pleasant looks and nods he was receiving.

"Yeah, I come here often, mostly with my friends and lower ranked officers. I know almost everyone here." Renji explained how he still visited these places even though he was often busied with duties as a soul reaper. He stated he always found time to come by and meet up with old friends.

"What were you saying about you and Rukia?" Renji suddenly remembered he never finished that thought.

"Oh, right! Well, like I said I was getting angry how she kept asking me if I was alright. She had left it alone for a few hours while we were down at a lake. When we got back home-"

"You shared a home?" Akito looked somewhat saddened when he confirmed it.

"Yeah. We kept each other company." Renji nodded and was a bit confused at Akito's reaction. "Anyway, when we got back home, she asked me again if I was alright and when I looked at her, she stared at me like she knew I wasn't. She walked over to me and hugged me and I couldn't help myself. I burst out in tears and starting screaming and yelling at her and she didn't even yell back at me. She knew I was hurting and that that was the best way I could express it."

"You and Rukia...are close?" Akito lowered her head and started fidgeting her thumbs.

"Yeah..." Renji peered at the woman before him. _'Is she...jealous?'_

"She's like a sister, though. Besides, even if I had anything more than just love as a brother, which I don't and won't ever," Renji saw he flinch at those words and a small smile rose on his features. _'She is.'_ "She's got the hots for Ichigo. The two would make a great couple, I think, but the carrot top is so thick, there's no way he'd ever be able to notice!" Renji laughed out loud at his friend's obliviousness.

"To be honest, I expected you to scream and shout at me, too." Renji stated, smiling at how Akito gaped like she couldn't believe he would even suggest it. "Don't get me wrong, you're a civilized person. But everyone has their own way of coping and I thought, just because of the way you acted around everyone, that you'd be angry as hell." She smiled at his words. "But the way you reacted, is just as good."

"You know..." Akito began. "I know I've said thank you already, quite a few times actually. But, I really can't thank you enough for this. I really don't think there is a way I can get across what I'm feeling right now." She uncharacteristically giggled and started to blush at the sound coming from her mouth. "I think the closest and easiest way to say it is...happiness." Her smile grew so wide that if she could get it any bigger, her face would crack.

Renji felt the grin stretch on his face. Her happiness, the way she felt at that moment was incredibly contagious. They spent the entire night sharing past memories and war stories. Renji passed on quack jokes that only made Akito laugh because of their sheer stupidity while he was quite skilled in using his hands to emphasize. They walked back to Akito's home and spent the night there again while Renji noted the feeling he got in the pit of his stomach every time he saw her beam with happiness.

_'Like butterflies...'_

Before the two bid each other goodnight again, Renji gripped Akito's arm as they stood in the middle of the room. She gave him a questioning look while his lips moved to form words but nothing came out.

"What's wrong?" She turned so she was facing him completely.

"No it's just...I wanted to ask you something..." He released her arm and balled his fists nervously.

"What is it?" She raised a brow at him when he subconsciously clenched his eyes and nearly barked the next few words at her.

"After this is over...after tonight...I was wondering if maybe..." Renji started stuttering.

He took a deep breath and stared straight in Akito's piercing orbs, making her jolt at the sudden eye contact.

"Will you stay with me?"

"Wh-what do you mean?" She already had a pretty good idea of what he was saying but something made her want to hear what he had to say.

"I mean,_ Akito_," The way he said her name made a shiver travel down her spine. "I want you to be with me. Even after tonight, even after we say goodbye in the morning, I want us to be together." He had become extremely close to her as he spoke the words with a deep voice that caused a heavy blush to paint her face. Before she could protest, he had wrapped his muscular arms around her waist and pulled her close. She pushed against him lightly so she could speak.

"W-what are you saying? I mean, I know what you're saying but...why would wanna be with me? I have nothing to offer you and...and I'm probably the worst person to be with. I have so many things wrong with me and I could cause you so many problems..." She looked everywhere but at his face which was, without a doubt pointed straight at her with those amber pearls boring through her soul.

"I don't care about that." Renji's voice had become quiet but still held enough strength to send more shivers down Akito's back.

"But...but that's what relationships are all about...offering equal parts of themselves to each other, and...and even giving each other happiness. All I would bring you is trouble." She got quiet at the end.

"Then I guess I'll have to have enough of that for the both of us." Renji smiled happily at Akito who now stared at his face, flabbergasted at how easily he spoke. "And as for you causing me trouble...I think I could handle it. I mean, I made one of the strongest people in Soul Society cry, so I think I can take care of a few problems."

Her eyes softened. "R-renji...how could we possibly make something like this work...? I mean, there's probably no way my dad would accept us being together 'cause he's so protective and-" She closed her eyes bowed her head only to have it picked back up by Renji's hand.

"How could it not? You said yourself I make you happy. And every time I see you smile, it makes me happy. So it's a win-win situation." He held his visage and inched his face closer and closer to hers. "And your dad, Kyoraku-sotaicho...wait...he's not really your dad is he?" She gave him a negative nod. "Oh, right. Anyway, don't worry about your dad. I'll convince him not to hate me for making a move on you." He chuckled.

"But Renji..." She couldn't find much to argue about. He had already stated how he would completely ignore even the most prominent of her issues. He said he didn't mind if he was the one making her happy even if she couldn't contribute to his own. He even told her he'd work out things with her so-called father/uncle/whatever the hell he meant to her. What was there to argue about, really? She heaved a defeated sigh and smiled up at those crimson haired fellow.

"Honestly...there really no sense in fighting you, is there?" Her shoulder rose and lowered in silent laughter.

"Nope!" He said all too cheerfully. He cupped her face and his smile faded. She gave him a questioning look but before she could speak, he captured her lips with his and smiled into it when he felt her return it.

* * *

"We kept going out like that for a few more months before we told anybody. It was amazing how no one even noticed. I mean even though we were careful not to show any affection for the first few weeks, we became pretty lax about it. We even kissed in front of people but we never heard anything about it." Renji had been puzzled about that since it first happened.

"Its 'cos nobody cared you two were together." Ikkaku spat. "To be honest, I'd rather her be with you than some scumbag." He referred to the man who visited with a recon team who had just returned to Seireitei. He wasn't a foe but he kept hitting on Akito even though she rejected each of his advances. "And besides," he pointed to Kairi. "You kept him at bay. Every time you came in the room next to Akito-san, he kept his distance."

"Out of respect of course." Kairi commented.

"Or fear." Shuuhei chimed in. Everyone laughed and Kairi huffed.

"As I recall, though," Byakuya spoke up, silencing the laughter and catching everyone's attention. He placed his tea on the table tha lay before him and continued. "Not everyone excepted this union. I believe Kyoraku-sotaicho had quite the fit about the two of you when he finally caught wind of the relationship. Even after you spoke with him, he was rather reluctant to let the two of you keep seeing each other."

"Yeah..." Renji looked at his captain then at the head captain who was already staring at the younger man.

"It wasn't so much that I didn't approve of the relationship..." Shunsui started.

"Just that you didn't like the idea of your precious Akito actually finding someone she deemed worthy of her love?" Jyuushiro smiled up at him.

Streams of tears fell from Shunsui's eyes. "My baby didn't need anyone!" He whined playfully. "Besides," he suddenly got serious. "I decided the two of them were good together." He nodded recalling the time he spoke to Akito.

"Yeah...I remember, at that party, when the two of you were talking in the room that opened up to the garden." Renji blushed when he remembered the words everyone who attended the party heard. They were talking so loud that time, they may as well have yelled.

* * *

_**I have to end this chapter here because it's getting pretty long. I'll start off the next chapter the way I did this one and there will be described smut in the next chapter! REVIEW!**_


	5. With The Words Of A Love Song

**Author's Note: This is finishing up from the last chapter and it'll start off as a flashback and it means there will be described smut inside! Rated M for a reason, hope you enjoy! :3  
**

* * *

**If I Die Young**

**Chapter 5: With The Words Of A Love Song  
**

"I don't get what's so hard to understand about this! It's not that hard to comprehend!" Akito yelled to the older man who stood in front of her. He bowed his head until his umbrella hat shielded his eyes.

"Calm down. I only want you to explain." He replied calmly.

The pink yukata'd soul reaper and the woman whom he had grown to call his daughter resided inside a room that opened up to the garden many shinigami had flocked to in a party Shunsui had set up for the lower ranking officers. Lieutenants from the 5th and 13th had not attended nor did the 4th, 7th, 10 and 12th Captains. Although these higher level soul reapers refused to have anything to do with the outrageous and often chaotic get-togethers, the 3rd and 5th seat of the 11th were in attendance along with the newly appointed 1st Division Lieutenant, Nanao Ise.

The party was well into its 2nd hour when everyone heard the yelling from the standing room just before the open space. Renji, who had arrived with Akito 20 minutes before the party had started, knew exactly what was happening as he was informed by his girlfriend of nearly 3 months that she was going to speak to him that night. The flame-haired lieutenant sipped at the hot liquid that filled his cup, ignoring all the odd stares shot his way when people recognized the girl's voice.

"What the hell's going on in there Renji?" Shuuhei thumbed in the direction of the shouts. Everyone stared expectantly at the 6th division vice-captain with minds all tracing to the same question the scarred lieutenant asked.

"It's...complicated." Renji commented, lowering his cup to his chin before continuing. "Don't worry about it." He stole another gulp and thrust his mug at the man for a refill.

Complying, the older shinigami jerked the bottle when another scream escaped the small room.

"Why can't you just go with?!"

"I need an explanation!"

"What for?!"

"Because if there is a man who thinks he is worthy of my daughter's heart, I need to know why she believes so!"

"I can't believe you!" Akito's reiatsu flared against Shunsui's own in a battle for dominance.

"Just tell me." He said in a calm yet demanding tone.

She knitted her brows together in a scowl. "Fine!"

"Good. I'm listening." The hairy head-captain took his seat again and waited.

She huffed before mimicking her 'father'. "3 months ago, when Ai died, and I tried my hardest not to show how bad I was hurting and when I did my best to help Kairi through it, I was alone in my room getting Ai's things together. He came to my room out of nowhere and just stood there for a good 5 minutes before I asked him why he was there."

"So he was creepin'?" Shunsui raised a brow.

"Shut up and listen!" She shot a glare at her mentor. "When I asked him why he was there, he explained to me that I shouldn't have been bottle up what I was feeling. He told he that I was just lying to myself and that even though I helped Kairi, I was just hypocritically following suite." Her voice calmed when she remembered her boyfriend's words. "He told me, that I needed to do something, say something to show that I wasn't just pushing the thoughts of not having Ai around anymore to the back of my mind. I kept trying to make him leave but he wouldn't and then he...he..."

"He...? He what? What did he do to you? Did he try to take advantage of you, what?"

"No, you big idiot! He just...he held me." She smiled, recalling the warmth of the red-heads embrace. "He held me for so long. It was...it was nice."

Shunsui gaped when he saw the peaceful, pleasant look in his 'daughter's' eyes.

"He whispered to me about how he knew it hurt and..." She furrowed her brows and her smile melted. "He was the only one..."

"What was that?" Shunsui unconsciously scooted closer to listen.

"He was the only one, the_ only one_ who told me that it's ok not be ok." She stared up at the captain-commander who resumed his previous visage. "He was the only person, out of everyone who said anything to me about Ai, that told me I needed to feel like this! That I was supposed to be hurting and that If I didn't cry or scream or get angry or _something_ that I'd lose my mind!" She proclaimed.

"So then, he captured your heart because he made you cry?" He snorted at the very thought.

Akito shot another deadly glare in his direction as the corner of her lips and the bottom of her eye twitched in unison. "You son of a..." She heaved a sigh. "It wasn't that!" She threw a small pillow at her temporary partner. "The next day, he took me out."

"On a date?"

"I guess you could call it that..." She pondered. She had never really thought about it as a date but come to think of it, it was just the two of them and it was to a fancy restaurant. "Anyway, we went to this place in Inuzuri-"

"You went all the way to Hanging Dog?!" He earned another pillow in the face. Where was she getting these?

"Let me talk, dumbass!" She settled back down and finished. "He took me to this place that was really nice and we talked for so long, I don't even remember how long we were there!" She laughed . "But we had such a good time, I couldn't really help myself from losing track of time.." She recollected the look on the tattooed man's face and how it stirred something in her chest. "Afterwards," she continued. "We went back to my apartment and that was where...he asked me." She blushed at the thought and took a deep breath.

"He was really shaky!" She giggled. "He was all flustered and blushing! It was so cute!"

Shunsui's faced warmed when he heard the sound left her mouth. She was really happy about this, wasn't she?

"He was even stuttering...but, he suddenly got so serious. When he looked at me," Akito's eyes visibly faded into a faraway gaze. "The _way_ he looked at me, and when he spoke..."

"It was the best feeling in the world?" Shunsui mused, resting his chin on his hand that now protruded as he laid his elbow on his knee.

She smiled and blushed deeply after nodding. "He told me..." She started to giggle lightly as the tears enlaced themselves in her voice. "When he told me he was pretty damn content with me even though I'd probably end up causing him so much trouble, Kami..." The endless streams poured from her yellow-stained eyes and she let out another quiet laugh. "I didn't know what to do with myself!" She wiped the ceaseless downpour. "I was so happy! And since then...since then, if he's away for more than an hour, I can't stop thinking about him!" She laughed through her tears. "Whenever I get upset or angry or even if I'm having a bad day, what he said to me replays in my head over and over!" Her smile started to fade when she raised both her hands to her face to cover their residence. "The moment he walks into the room, I feel like I'm gonna pass out! I get all dizzy and my stomach gets in knots! I can't stop myself from being so happy when he's around! I love him so much, I can't help it!"

Akito looked like a wailing toddler to the man who sat before her. Overcome with only sympathy for the younger woman at his own love he carried for a woman once, he couldn't help but let a defeated smile dance across his aged features. Sighing, he stood and traveled to his sobbing daughter. He lifted her bowed head, making her look at him. And when she peered at him through her lightly damp bangs with her shiny pearl-like orbs, he chuckled and took her in his arms.

"There's not much sense in fighting you, is there?" Shunsui tightened his grip.

"Nope!" She giggled.

Another chuckle left the older man's lips as he released Akito, wiping the remaining salty rivers claiming her face.

"Alright. I guess I have no choice. You two'll be great together. What with your youthful determination and passion for what you fight for. Go on." Shunsui motioned for her to join the red-head outside.

"Hai!" She smiled at the man and just as she was about to stand, the doors flew open. "R-renji? what's wro-" She was cut off when Renji gripped her wrist and pulled her out the chair. "Renji? What are y-" She was cut off again when he yanked her in his direction and led her out of the room. "What are you doing?" He took her out to the garden, ignoring the stares and giggles he received as he drug her past the lot of shinigami.

"Where are we going?" His silence peaked her interest significantly. "Oi! Talk to me!" Renji kept a firm grip on Akito's wrist as they passed through the gates of the Seireitei. "_RENJI!_"

"We're here." Renji stopped abruptly causing Akito to bump into him lightly.

"Here?" She rubbed where she hit Renji's hard muscles before panning the scene before her, a gasp escaped her gaping mouth.

The image before her was straight out of a movie. Dark green forestry flooded the open space and decorated the ground with shrubs, bushes, trees and plants usually only found near ponds and rivers. When he guided her past the immense brush, she held her visage when a sound of rushing water pierced her ears. What stood before her was a 10 foot tall waterfall pouring endlessly into a small collection of water too big to be a pond yet to small to be a lake.

"Wha...what is this?!" Akito snapped her head to the tattooed red-head who was already peering down at her.

"It's my special place." He gave her the warmest smile yet earning a deep blush from the younger woman. "I come here when I need to get away." He turned to the waterfall. "I found it when I ran from training one day. I was humiliated when I fought against Ikkaku and I just ran and when I got lost in the forest, I started searching for my way back and I ended up finding this place. I guess I got lucky, ya know?" He chuckled lightly.

Akito was speechless. This man, the macho, tattooed and flame-haired lieutenant of the 6th Division, who fought against his captain, fought against the arrancar, assisted in the return of Kurosaki Ichigo's shinigami powers and survived the war against Juha Bach and Vandenreich was standing before her, giving up one of the most important things of his life to her. Was he...?

"Why would you...show me this?"

"What do you mean, 'why'? Because I love you, that's why!" He practically cheered as he scooped her up in him arms. "Because I love you..." These words were so much softer than the previous ones. Flabbergasted, Akito's thoughts were scattered.

"Renji..."

"I wanted to show this to you a while ago, but I couldn't find the right time. I mean, there were a few but they lasted for a few moments so I couldn't really do much." He spoke, releasing her. He leaned her back slightly to look at the woman in his arms, he chuckled to see the return of her crimson cheeks. "I love you more than anything in the three worlds, Akito. And when you were talking with Kyoraku-sotaicho, I heard what you said, about how I make you feel. God, I think everyone heard you." Renji laughed out loud. "They all heard what you said about me and I thought it was the perfect time for this. So, here we are."

* * *

"People from 5 miles away heard that conversation." Everyone laughed at Shuuhei's words.

"Yes, you two were pretty loud." Ukitake nudged his friend who scoffed.

"Whatever." Shunsui mumbled. "I had my reasons." He crossed his arms and huffed like a child accepting a punishment from his mother.

Chuckling softly at his old friend's reaction, Jyuushiro motioned for Renji to continue.

* * *

"Renji, you..." Akito stared up at the tattooed lieutenant. "I...I don't know what to say...I just..."

He smiled down at her, cupped her soft cheek and captured her supple lips in his own. Akito, clenching onto the fabric of Renji's shihakusho, moaned when his tongue glided her bottom lip begging for entrance. Granting him this access, she snaked her arms around his tattooed neck to pull him impossibly close and battled in a dance for dominance as he explored the wet cav-

* * *

"Wait, wait, wait!" Shunsui stopped him with his hand. "I don't wanna hear about what you did with my daughter. I really don't think anyone here wants to know about your...sexual encounters." He closed his eyes in disgust at the mere thought.

"S-sorry. I wasn't thinking." He scratched his head and laughed nervously. Although everyone began to chime in on their experiences with Akito, the memory of Renji and her together beneath the waterfall still played in his mind.

* * *

It wasn't until they broke for air that the lust was visible in Akito's half-lidded eyes. Renji's breath hitched the moment he gazed at his soon-to-be-lover's eyes, seeing the darkness boiling over. He took hold of her lips once more, in a more hungry, needy force before nearly ripping her tank top off her lithe body. She whimpered at the sudden movement and recoiled her arms over her lace bra as the feel of crisp air caressed her exposed flesh.

"A-akito..." His amber orbs panned over the view of the smaller woman's bare, toned stomach and decorated extremities that blanketed plump flesh. He placed a callused hand on her forearm and gently tugged at it. "Let me..." She hesitantly complied and lowered her limbs to reveal a black lace bra sufficiently perking up her obvious double-D cups.

Renji smirked and began removing the top of his shihakusho. Akito's panting slowed at the sight of his tanned midsection littered with black ink. A low but audible growl escaped her lips, catching the larger man's attention. Renji witnessed the expression of pure hunger paint Akito's face and damn was it _sexy_. He pulled her into him unexpectedly erupting a shower of hungry, lustful pecks on and around his lips. Getting rather impatient with how much Renji was pulling away from her, a growl of frustration poured from her full lips as he guided her to the edge of the water.

Stealing another heated kiss, Renji raised his hand to Akito's belt and wedged his forefinger between it and her lower stomach. He effortlessly unbuckled the leather binding and left the unbuttoned, unzipped pants for Akito to remove.

"Take them off..." He ordered, removing his hakama and fundoshi before stepping into the cool water.

Immediately complying with her koibito's words, Akito slid the silk fabric off her copper lengths showing a matching pair of black laced underwear. Now dazed by the presence of the man she was ready to give everything to, she seductively inched the covering down the same path as her jeans earning a husky moan from her audience.

Grinning at his reaction, she reached behind her to unsnap the wired lace. Akito pulled the covering loose agonizingly slow to reveal the mounds that rest beneath it. A soft growl emitting from the tattooed lieutenant peaked the girl's interest.

"Like what you see?" She teased, descending into the cool liquid.

"Definitely." He mused, pulling her naked figure close and collapsing his lips on hers. For what seemed like forever, all that filled the air around them were pants, moans and the gushing of water. The wet, sloppy lip-smacking was beginning to become unsatisfactory as Renji's hands started to roam. Gently caressing the collection of skin at her lower back, a lusty moan poured out of the edges of Akito's mouth as he squeezed them.

"Renji..." She panted, gripping his neck for dear life. "Please..."

"Tell me what you want..." He whispered against the shell of her ear before nipping at it.

"M-more..." She begged him as her body jerked at the feeling of his tongue gliding across her lobe. "I want...m-more..."

"Alright..." He smirked and conformed immediately, stealing an innocent but needy kiss before pulling near the source of the pond the reside in.

Renji guided her behind the white ripples to a small collection of rock conveniently placed with a flat top larger enough to hold the two of them. He smiled when he heard her gasp. "C'mon..." He hoisted her up on the slab before climbing up himself.

"I'm starting to think this was more than just some place you found a while back when you got embarrassed." Akito smiled.

Renji laughed nervously before leaning over the smaller woman, forcing her to lay back against the chilled sediment. He captured her lips and in a sultry tone, he confessed his love over and over again. The words he cooed in her ears became like a dull vibration resonating from the nape of her neck where he brushed against the shell of her ears. Every sound that emanated from Renji's thin lips sent shivers down Akito's spine as the feeling of his skin nearly boiled beneath her palms.

God, his skin was perfect. Whether it be the smooth shell underneath the black ink or the weathered flesh decorated by scars that wasn't, Akito couldn't decide but the feeling was riveting, shaking her to the core. She was yanked out of her distant thoughts with an alien sensation pooling in her stomach. Dazed, she peered down to find Renji had inserted two slender fingers inside her.

Renji, who noted the surprised look on his soon-to-be-lover's face, froze in his tracks. "Is this alright?" He hesitated. After a short moment of uncertainty, she looked in his eyes and shook her head lightly.

"I-it's fi-_AH_!" She yelped when Renji curled his fingers. Wriggling as he began to pump them, Akito practically screamed his name when he brushed against a spot inside her. "Ngh...R-ren...ji..." He inserted another digit, stretching the virgin skin encasing the previous two.

"Yes?" Renji teased, smiling as he witnessed the deep crimson features of the woman that lay beneath him.

_'I'm gonna...'_ Akito felt herself reaching her peak and as his fingers continuously rubbed that spot, she moaned his name over and over, begging to herself for it to never end. "I can't..."

Renji's smile widened when Akito arched her back, calling out for the tattooed red-head. Her back rested against the deep ash colored rock as the pants began to slow and she descended form her high.

"Renji..." She raised her arm to rest on her forehead, just before her eyes. A soft smile crept over her features and she blushed. "Can I...have...more?" Blushing even deeper when Renji chuckled softly, Akito looked anywhere but at his face.

He leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss on Akito's forehead. "It would be an inconvenience..." He teased, earning a huff and glare from her. "Relax." He trailed butterfly kisses from her lips to her naval, ensuring he crushed the blood cells on her neck and marking his property. "You haven't down this before, have you?"

"N-no..." Akito confirmed, meeting Renji's eyes. "I just...never had anyone to do this with..."

Renji nodded, considering that Akito had been an incredibly busy person even before she arrived in Soul Society. She probably didn't have the time for any romance which made the fact that he had captured her heart almost effortlessly nearly improbable. He smiled at the thought and gently lifted her legs. "Hold them up, like this." She nodded and replaced his hands with her own.

"It's kinda big so it'll hurt for bit, 'kay? But I promise it'll get better. I promise I'll be gentle." He assured the woman who held a slightly scared visage.

"O-okay..." His words rang in her ears, knowing how much he truly meant them. "I trust you..."

Renji, whose body had already begun to heat up from the sounds Akito made, blushed lightly at her words. Smiling, kissed her before he positioned himself at her entrance."Ready?" Hesitation evident in the man's voice.

"Mmh." She clenched her eyes closed in anticipation as he pushed himself between her lips and deep inside. Her breathing hitched at the alien sensation._ 'It hurts...so much!'_ She winced and released her legs only to wrap them around his toned back and dug her nails into it.

Renji flinched at the sudden pain but relaxed when he realized the source of it. 'I'm sorry, love...I know it hurts...just bare with me for a little bit longer...' He pulled himself out to the edge of her cavern and thrust back in, earning a strained scream from the woman. One thrust after another, he plunged into her, turning the yelps of pain into moans of pleasure. It was all he could not to lose control and plow into Akito with only the consideration of this being her first time keeping him at bay.

"R-renji...please...I can't...I'm gonna..." Her voice was barely audible. "I'm gonna..." Akito was nearing her peak once more.

Renji held a mutual feeling, the hot feeling pooling in his gut more and more with every thrust. "Akito..." He whispered her name over and over and when he climaxed, he welcomed the agony enlaced with the claws digging into his back. "I love you..." He kissed her forehead.

For a few moments in peace, the two lie together, hands entangled and skin in contact as he rested his head on her shoulder. Her soft, languid voice broke the tranquil silence.

"You know..." She caught his attention although he hadn't lifted his head. "We should get back before they come looking for us." She smiled, with her gaze at the thought of their friends running around Soul Society and eventually finding twin piles of clothes on the edge of the pond. A small chuckle escaped her lips earning a warm smile from Renji who had finally turned to look at her.

"Your laugh is beautiful." He commented.

Repositioning her head to meet the direction of Renji's, she returned his grin. "You think so?"

"Mhm." He pulled himself up and pressed his lips against hers. "And you're right. We should go." He regretfully sat up, pulling the smaller woman up with him. "I don't want them finding this place if they come searching." He scowled at the thought but softened noticeably when he heard Akito giggle.

"That's what you're worried about? It's not that they would find us here, naked and sweaty? You're impossible!" She gently nudged him before jumping into the collection of water.

Renji soon followed suit, moving through the cool pond and brushing away the remnants of previous activities. "We can go back to my place. I think they'll look in yours before they would mine." Akito suggested, pulling the length of her pants up. "Hey can you give me a hand with this?" She held up her damp locks and turned her back for Renji to fasten her bra.

Complying, he assisted before pulling his kosode closed and attempting to tie up the fiery cascade that curtained his face only to be stopped by Akito's hand.

"Leave it, I like it down like that. It's gorgeous." She smiled warmly, gaining a cherry-cheeked shinigami.

"Y-yeah." Leaving his hair down, he clasped his lover's hand and walked alongside her to her apartment.

* * *

"You know..." Kairi's voice ripped him from his thoughts as he peered at the man who held a hand to his chin. "From what you've told us, Abarai, she would've been with you when the first attack happened. Am I right?" The lingering voices in the crowd dissipated.

"Yeah...we were in her apartment..." Renji recalled.

* * *

Renji and Akito had reached her apartment and spent the night with both pretty surprised that no one had come to check on them. The next morning, Akito had woken up first and headed to the bathroom. Her movements were subtle, but Renji, being the light sleeper he was, felt each of them. He rustled around when he felt her get up from the bed and opened his eyes.

"Oi, what are you doing?" He grumbled turning around and hoisting the blanket over his face to shield the impending daylight.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" She apologized as she stepped into the bathroom. "I didn't mean to." She poked her head out. "Forgive me?" She chimed.

"I-it's fine..." He mumbled beneath the sheets. "Really, though. What are you doing?" Renji huffed and decided to get up, realizing there was no use in trying to go back to sleep.

"Cleaning up, what are you doing?" She retorted.

"Wishing I could go back to sleep..." Sighing, the lieutenant ran a hand through his fiery locks. "Do you want to go out today?" He somewhat yelled. "There's this place I kn-" A loud thud cut him off. "Oi, you alright in there?" He questioned. When he received no answer, he stood and approached the small room. "Hey, are you li-" He gaped at the sight before him. Akito, the woman he loved, the woman who had given everything to him the night before was laying on the tile floor, convulsing.

"Akito?! What's wrong?! Oi! _AKITO!_"

* * *

**This took an unusually long time to write this lemon chapter but I think it turned out better than what I thought it would. I hope you enjoyed it! REVIEW!**


	6. Lord, Make Me A Rainbow

**Author's Note: Starts off as a flashback when Akito collapsed.  
**

* * *

**If I Die Young**

**Chapter 6: Lord, Make Me A Rainbow  
**

"AKITO! What's the matter?!" Renji panicked when a white, frothy foam secreted from Akito's mouth. A sudden thought popped into his head and he bolted out of the room. "Unohana-taicho!" He burst into the small clinic he knew she was working at today and with a heavy pant his begged her to come with him. "Please, you have to help! It's Akito! She's...there's something wrong with her!" He pleaded.

"Calm down, Abarai-fukutaicho. Tell me what happened." Unohana spoke calmly, holding up a reassuring hand.

"She's...! There's something wrong with her! You have to come with me!" He rushed through the out of Unohana's quarters, dragging the healer with him. Rushing through the doorway and over to the now limp body of his lover, he knelt to Akito. "I don't know what happened. She was just fine a second ago! She was talking to me and everything, and then she collapsed and started shaking all over!"

"Calm down." She placed a hand over his briefly before returning her gaze to the disheveled form. "It seems she has suffered from a seizure." Unohana analyzed.

"A seizure?"

"Yes. The electrical signals in her brain have been interrupted by something and sent it into shock. Although it seems to have been a Grand Mal, she hasn't suffered much damage." The leader of the 4th squinted her eyes subtly as her gaze traveled over the contorted features of Akito's face that were still slightly twitching. Unohana-taicho looked over to Renji who still held a concerned, frantic expression. "Has this ever happened before?"

"I...I don't know. She never said anything about this kind of thing before." Renji was obviously nervous despite Unohana-taicho's words.

"Very well." She closed her eyes and stood before motioning for orderly who followed her to take Akito to the 4th Division Emergency Department. "When you take her there, administer Diazepam to prevent future epileptic episodes. Understand?"

"Yes, Ma'am!" The thin, pale subordinate and his two partners lifted Akito and carried her to the empty hospital bed in the ICU with Renji and Captain Unohana following close behind.

"Is she gonna be okay?" Renji somewhat whispered, his once strong and commanding tone cracking.

Unohana instructed the nurses to start an IV and place an oxygen mask over Akito's face. "We still don't know what caused this, but, for the time being, it seems she is in no danger." She gave the red-head a stern look. "Are you sure she's never spoken about any issues with seizures or being ill before now?"

"I...don't know. She hasn't ever told me about being so sick this kind of thing happens." He recollected the conversations the two had over the past few months. "I don't remember her talking about having seizures." He reiterated.

"I see." Unohana barked more orders to the three assistants before standing at Akito's side.

"Unohana-taicho, would you like us to open an airway?" One of them asked.

"No. For now, she's breathing on her own so it isn't necessary."

"Yes ma'am."

Yachiru, captain of the fourth, peered over the lifeless body of Akito that lay before her. She noted the unusual appearance she held after the most violent type of electrical disruptions in the brain. Normally, the body would become stressed as the mind sent distorted signals throughout the body, causing the spasms and jerking. Because the body cannot take the normal pressure, the lungs would malfunction as well as the heart and the breathing of the subject would be become labored and with lack of oxygenated blood to the brain, they would pass out.

However, even though this was occurring with Akito, a normal patient would not continue to breathe after fainting. They brain would not send messages quick enough to start the respiration system after such a serious disruption. This would cause the necessity of opening an airway and administering high-grade seizure prevention medication.

Although the medicine was given through the IV, Akito's right eye and left corner of her mouth continued to twitch lightly. This, of course, alarmed Unohana as it signified the medicine was not processing in her body. She was taken aback at the sudden purpling on her arm where the IV was at, a common symptom of irritation or allergic reaction to any pharmaceuticals given.

"Take it out!" She yelled, startling the members of the room. "Take the Iv out of her! She's having an allergic reaction! Remove it!" She barked.

"Y-yes!" The lean female orderly promptly removed the tube from Akito's arm.

"What's happening?" Renji questioned as he witnessed the darkening of his lover's flesh.

"I'm not sure why this is happening. She shouldn't have any issues with the medicine and yet she is in the early stages of anaphylactic shock."

"What?!" The red-headed lieutenant shouted.

"Yeas. It seems that her body is not processing the medication correctly. Something is definitely wrong here." Yachiru shouted at the orderly in the nearby hallway when Akito started convulsing once more.

"Can't you do anything?!" Renji watched helplessly as the nurses held Akito's arms and legs down.

Unohana, needle in hand, ripped the fabric covering her upper left thigh and plunged the syringe full of Lorazepam directly into her muscle. "This is the best thing I can do for her. If this doesn't work, she will have to suffer through the next few until I am able to administer muscle relaxers and kept her in a medicated coma." She gave Renji a solemn but somber look. "I don't know what is causing such a reaction from her, but what ever it is, I will find it."

"Y-yes, ma'am." Renji stared at Akito whose spasms had dissipated. "Please," he bowed deeply to the 4th Division Captain. "Take care of her for me."

* * *

"It scared the shit outta me. I didn't know what to think and seeing her there, lifeless on that bed..." Renji lowered his eyes.

"I know what you mean." Kairi smiled weakly. "When I found out-no, when everyone else found out, we were just as worried. How long did it take for her wake up that time?"

"It was 5 days, if I remember correctly." Jyuushiro replied to that question. "It was the longest coma that accompanied the attacks. The one she is dealing with now, though, has been for so long." He narrowed his chocolate pools. "When she woke up for the first time after that fainting spell, she didn't recall anything that had happened except for Renji-kun's voice calling out for her."

"Yeah, I remember hearin' Akito-chan say that. Poor thin'." Shinji chimed in, sadness and realization enlaced in his voice. "I wonder if she heard the conversation we were havin' around her when she was unconscious. She coulda just said she didn't hear us. If that's the case, she heard we had no idea why she was sick. Mighta scared her half ta death to not know what was happenin'." The people who were previously in the room talking about Akito's condition contemplated the piano-toothed captain's words.

"Shit, Never thought about that." Kensei spoke.

"None of us did." Unohana, who had arrived just moments before Shinji had spoken, walked into the garden.

"Unohana-taicho." Shunsui looked over to the healer who was noticeably exhausted. Everyone had their attention on the onyx-haired captain, waiting for news on their ailing comrade.

"How's Akito-chan doin'?" Hirako-taicho asked the question everybody had on their minds.

Unohana face contorted in pain automatically as she took a seat next to Kenpachi. "It isn't any better. Although she is breathing on her own now, her heart and lungs are extremely stressed out. They are working exponentially hard to kept her alive. I don't know how much more her body can take. Akito is very strong mentally with a will to live stronger than that of the former head-captain, but with such injuries to her physical body, I don't know if she'll be able to survive. Only time will tell." She shut her eyes after the last part poured from her lips.

It was quiet for a moment. No one spoke or coughed or even sniffled. Suddenly, a commanding tone rang out in the painful silence.

"Even so, we will still hold out hope that she will recover." Shunsui, who gripped his lover's hand with great strength, held his head up. "As you said, Akito is strong. She has overcome even the most debilitating of dilemmas. This is just another obstacle in her way that she will surely conquer." Everyone looked at each other and smiled. Every word the head-captain said was true, and they knew it.

She had gained the brotherly love of Ikkaku Madarame, one of the most bloodthirsty members of the Gotei 13; she stood up against the greatest foe of the Soul Society and won; she gave Ichigo Kurosaki the incentive he needed to ask Rukia for her hand in marriage and conquered the heart of the red-headed lieutenant of the 6th. Shunsui was right. This was just one more thing she could accomplish along her journey to wherever she was going.

"Anyway," the bearded officer continued. "This isn't the first time she stole the heart of a group of soul reapers." He smiled. "Remember, Jyuu? When she was a kid, when we first met her, she captured the affections of Ginrei Kuchiki in an instant."

"Aye." Jyuushiro laughed. "The way she talked to him was truly extraordinary. She was practically yelling at him when he disciplined Byakuya. That was when the two of them met." She pointed at the stoic noble who was sipping his refilled tea. "Why don't you tell them the story of how you and Akito met, Shunsui? I'm sure that would be quite the entertainment." He teased.

"Ah, that's one to behold. Well...where should I start? I guess the beginning's good." Shunsui scratched his head as if it assisted in recalling his memories. "When Akito was a young kid, about 119 years ago..."

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**Aanndd Scene! I was out for two weeks so it took at little long to update, sorry about that. So you know, REVIEW!**


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